This past weekend, I let my guard down and slip my lips back into the place of my past.
Not understanding the barrier of what two ex.’s should do when put into place at a bar. But before I knew it, I had him back in my arms on the dance floor. Suddenly, every guy I was seeing became a blur, and I was content with it.
I knew what I was doing, after all, you should never go back with an guy who dumped you (especially over the phone). My friends dislike him, for all the good reasons. But I couldn’t help but to repeat the words he kept saying to me “loosing you, was one of my biggest mistakes.” Biggest mistake? I’ll say. So why was the man I hated after the break up, was the man I wanted to take home?
We ended up together this entire weekend, including the hours spent hanging up pictures on my wall and organizing my room. Going out to eat. Being seen in public. Holding hands. Driving with the window down as era of the 50’s love music played in the background. He was questioning us so soon, on the second day, asking me “What our we doing?”. I see it as a relationship on comfort. I found my confused mother asking if I was dating the fellow again or just hooking up. In the most simple reply that could find was “We keep each other company.”
That just it. Company. Not dating. Not a booty call. Not lovers. Company.
Its what I want, as of right now. I don’t want to date the nobody’s and the douche bags. I don’t want to take the time to get to know others. Follow by the rules of dating, and be crushed by the cheaters. I just want simple. After all, these past months I haven’t talked to anybody or really wanted to. I guess the secret truth was, he was always on my mind. I might be playing with fire, but sometimes you have to try out all the outcomes before you find the solution.
