Chick Flicks Night.

 Today I sat down with messy hair, sweat pants, while cooking myself a dinner for one. To create a dinner I like to pretend I set for two. But two only exists in my mind.
I tried not to be disturbed, I began to sit down on the couch to turn on a chick flick. This corny, cheesy, unrealistic chick flick, began to set in my mind. Is this what everybody expects? Good looking attractive people who sit there and can instantly feel happy because that person makes them who they are for the better?
Well, I am sorry, but right than & there, it clicked. My friends are who make me who I am. They see me fall in and out of love, they share my laughter, they know when I am at my worst, & most of all they accept me even more than my family.
Yes, love is real. But people, our society, has torn to create something that more attention than anything. I log on to Facebook, and all I see is photos, tags, & comments dedicated to show the whole world your dating this particular person, and if lost, you feel the need to delete your facebook or disappear. There no privacy in the social media world, and people everyday are trying to keep up with being what everyone expects you to be.
This very day, I had the cleaning lady at my work stopped to tell me I was wearing a beautiful color of lipstick. Before I could thank her, she told me "Your so pretty, I pray you get a boyfriend soon." I was mortified. You pray? You pray for me? I shrugged my shoulders and said, "they're hiding." The truth was, is this what were brought up to believe? To fall in love and pray for others who don't? Fools.
A person's touch can be the most amazing thing you will ever discovered. A person simple words will sometimes be the sweetest things to listen to. Knowing that there someone with a smile & thinking of you, is a wonderful gift. But we don't need to rush. We don't need to fall in this cookie cutter mindset what everyone else thinks we should do at that moment.
We all get chances in life. We have all felt beauty. But realize, past or present you felt more things than most people in this world.
I realize, complications will happen. Things will happen. But, my friends are greater than a chick flick. They are all beautiful in my eyes. They say the most corniest things, that makes me shout out in laughter. The adventures of drama will always strive, but in the climax, we thank God our paths crossed in life.
So, you haven't found what your looking for? I think your friends will give you a clue.  

R.I.P friendship

If you ask me, I find my friends who are starting to have serious relationships, are starting to loose their edge. Yes, I was rather use to the single fun free loving style of my friends who can wild out, but now I have to get use to the fact they rather stay home and snuggle 7 days a week than see me. 

I feel a little use, after all, the text messages & phone calls were constant before another man stood in the way. Every weekend, I spent all my time with my girls and was known to be the wild one in the crowd. The girl who could throw a pair of glow sticks around, get free drinks, and talk to several guys at the same time. I was looked up to in a way, because I go up to a guy and have any man buy me a drink while spending out connections to go places and gather free happenings. But soon, my girlfriends started to tell their guys they were just "talking to" what I was all about. Since I was frown upon by the guys point of view, it made my girlfriends soon frown upon me. 

I don't see it in a guilt matter on showing my game, when I was hurt many times for this matter. In the game, I grew tough skin and I learned not to fall. If I am to fall, it leaves a wound and I rather not have scars on me ready to take place for the next guy in my life. Therefore, It should not be a crime for my time now. I am young, slightly attractive, and have the high energy for me to play out all night. I don't want to be held down nor be hidden in a cave coming out just for food. My girlfriends, I consider some, to be like cavemen. disappearing and lonely. They scout whoever they can find, once a man is attached, all they ever knew is gone and the idea for a "wedding band" is all they see.

Maybe its good, change for them. It shows me a lot sooner who they are rather than being thrown to the suffering wolves later down the road. My goals are different, which is probably why one might have me frowned upon. After all, I want to travel, work up into the business world, and leave this city. Unlike my girlfriend's dream in life is to married and become housewives. Its sad, but true. Hearing from their own mouths makes me wonder why I even became friends with the type never to step out of the line but live a life of rather no dreams. 

Which is why I have gained acceptance, my girlfriends will never be the same as it was this past summer, but least I had an amazing year with them.