It takes 3...

                Why should women engaged themselves to one man? After all, in the game of dating men do not go after just one girl but goes after any girl he can find. My mix right now is I don’t quite trust the one I am talking to. I adore him, and he is a homebody who works out and gets up at 5:45 a.m. on Saturday mornings. I would like to feel like the only one but I am afraid I am not and it is a game rather than date. 

                I have discovered my trust was lacking when I started to date two other  guys on the side. Both on other sides of town, both different group of friend, and both manage different jobs. I see no wrong when I am just “talking” to them, rather than in relationships. I have a fear of commitment, but waiting on the right guy to not mess up my views.

                How do we keep our fears settle, but keep moving on and about this world? I started to date a man who can be a bit of an ass, but yet I am so hung up on him that his wrongs are not noticed by me. But now I’ve developed a “fling” with a navy pilot who is known for getting with girls and never calling them back. Well, I got with him, and he’s still calling and buying me things, so by all means, he can stay in place for as long as he wants. But that’s usually how it works, the man your NOT all about, he’s into you. I also am starting to talk to a waiter in an old city town outside my city and he in fact has me intrigued by all things. To sit and hear stories of his travels in Europe by himself, or how he lived in Germany for three years makes my gypsy soul want to hear more.

                All three are different, and all three are kept. As long as your talking or dating and no progress is about to happened for future years to come, then don’t waste the beauty. Share whatever skills you got, because soon you’ll be married and wishing you could live that life a little bit more on the edge.   

FINDING THE ONE...hmmmm.

Findng the One,

                Finding the one should be so easy, after all we as human beings have made technology easy enough for one to date now. Dating websites are starting to be the new thing for women who are no longer searching love in a bar. Instead women can now urge themselves to find the one they want through a picture while having their belly fat convulsing out of their too tight jeans and high bun hair. We has single “not good enough to date” women have turned ourselves into the world of technology and bad lighting photos to do the work for ourselves.

                This world has begun to develop so much complication with social media sites. My theories, if he doesn’t have a facebook, drop him, because that is sketchy. If I am even slightly talking to a guy, I want to add him on facebook so I can creep. I look at the status, the photos, and I creep hard. It’s not like it was when my sister was my age. Instead my sister had an AIM, and she judged him possibly on his icon and screen name. So this world, is it us to blame?

                Instead of finding what we want, going out, discovering it, we instead our hitting an accept and delete button like it is no problem. We desire to have relationships like “snap, crackle, and POP” instantly wanting the next big thing. And immediately throwing out what we could have had.

                Maybe finding the one, is more like finding ourselves. We as women constantly make a list of what we want and what we don’t want. It’s confusing, and sadly it’s harsh on the good men that stand at our doorway. Some girls can’t decide what they want, while others don’t get out and expect Mr.Right to knock on your door.  Our decisions have now turned to the internet for dating and social sites to find someone for us.

                But the one shouldn’t be like the next Iphone, instead the person should be slowly waited on, taking the time slowly, and treating it like it’s your old song you never get tired from. I am not saying don’t date online, but don’t lose hope. There is someone for everyone, even the hobo who pees on your tires downtown. Or that waitress at the waffle house with the huge mole. There’s someone for everyone. Certainly you have to understand your future one is having the same frustration as you are wondering where you are, or if you’ll ever come. 

The true fairy tale...

Here the perfect fairy tale,

                Boy meets girl, girl doesn’t fancy boy but comes to her senses after a bit. Girl was shadowed by her past (mr. boring) therefore couldn’t see through the future. Mr. boring is forever more gone, and girl comes to boy. What the girl didn’t know is when she was with boy, so was another girl. This girl was name Slutzilla. Slutzilla was a friend of the girl, and recently just got out of a relationship.

                Girl insisted slutzilla and her would go out to meet new knight and shiny armors for her. But the beads of lust around her neck desire the boy, whom girl was with. Slutzilla was told lies from the boy, where he told her he would leave the girl, for that he could have her. All the secrets ever once kept between the girl and slutzilla vanished when she struck an appeal with the boy. They ran off, and collided with each other bodies, meanwhile girl was dating boy.

                Girl than decided to date boy, because he had ask for her hand in ‘serious relationship’ after all, it had been four months and boy was impatient. Sparely, she was going to agree, but first she must tell Slutzilla the exciting news. Slutzilla was over joy using the words “I don’t really know boy*, but don’t do anything you would regret, go for it”. Exactly twenty four hours later Slutzilla came to girl with vodka tonics under her breath and tears strolling down to say she was going behind the girls back.

                Girl works with Slutzilla, and see’s boy from time to time, and the fairy tale goes; Slutzilla did a favor by showing her true colors and showing me what boy could have done worst in the future.

                                                                Good Luck Slutzilla and Boy,                                                                  

                                                                                           go hold hands of sorrow and black. 

 Let's say you meet Mr.perfect, he has everything that was on your list for greatness. He is not only a great talker, but wants to spend time with you. He gives you a message here and there, cooks you turkey burgers, and even will take you on vacation. He gets along great with your friends and your family likes him. All is good, right?
  This is/was my situation, I moved from the Douche to the simple perfect nice guy. He admired me and all was great about him, except for me not being attractive to him. When it came to all physical matters, I just couldn't. I didn't want to and even though he is perfect for an ideal boyfriend, he is not my ideal. Am I destine to find the Bad guy instead of the good guy?

Mr.Boring is just another Number.

Once again, I am like every other twenty year girl trying to juggle through college...

I am single. I am over stressed. and I am still trying to find that connection with relationships.

 This is a topic, I mostly write about because as much as I am curious about it, I as well cannot for the life of it find the true love, or any being of relationship. I am considered "the ALMOST girlfriend", so close to having the title, but doesn't quite have it. 

Which is why I must confess me and Mr.boring were having an amazing relationship, the second time around, I fell in love. But the love began to suppress as the summer was winding down and he began to look for things about me that wasn't up to his standards. He completely stopped talking to me like he did before. Its the lessons we never learn from and we always go back to. Don't lie! You have been in relationships were it was all wrong, you knew it, and you disobeyed your friend's advice because it was what YOU wanted. 

Well, here am I dealing with the fact I had incredible truck sex with Mr.boring behind the back of a movie theater (Classy once again), and did all the right things. His kiss was passionate, his hands we strong and over sense of strength to take care of me. It just happened. I wanted him, so I went for it, we had worked up to it for the past two months. Once we said our goodbyes, I gave my girlfriends a call gossiping about the moment. Two days later...he stops calling me. No text. No email. So I left Mr.boring and email he'll never forget. 

 We as ladies are always told sex is not the answer to build a relationship, so why do we urn for it so bad? The way I put it, if we are so vulnerable, maybe its time to step up to the plate. "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man", we must put our instinct of feelings aside and think ahead. Mr.Boring was all wrong for me, and incredible asshole as he is, I cannot let myself become heartbroken. Instead, I think of him as just another "number" in my book, and put on the "shit list", wishing him the best in life, and feeling sorry for whoever his future wife might be, if asshole ever decides to find love.  

If this has ever happened to you, well just like most girls meeting douche bags, your not alone. And stop worry about "your number", worry about finding a guy who will treat you "Pure". But I will touch up on the "number" thing another day. Most of all, realize whether its your friend or you that is going through a dating process that you shouldn't, always realize your going to do what you want you do, as long as your ready for the consequences that lie ahead, go for it. 

Ripped Panties

  In the car after a nice date from a wonderful walk in the park, I set my morals out the door and gave in to a classy blow job...
  The make out session aroused him so much, Mr.boring began to pull out his "thing" asking me to give him a hand job. Was I in highschool again? who gives out Hand jobs besides virgins and innocent girls trying to keep a man? But I did...and this simple hand job led my arm to strain. My fear of having a sore muscle tomorrow due to "regret feeling of a hand job", I began to use my other tricks. Did I mention this was out in the parking lot at my work at 11 p.m. at night? If that doesn't say your living your twenties, I don't know what will.
   Has the performance began to get intense, so did his masculine hands. The hands began to wrap around my bottom, squeezing and gripping so tight. over and over his hands thrust me, and the only thought I could think of was a man was lustfully craving me desirably like a beast. As I began to go further and further down...this man so let out a cry and ripped the side of my panties completely off.
   After all was "done", I soon let him walk out of my car and back into his truck with the ripped panties at my side. Although Mr.boring is deployed for another week til coming back home, all I can think...if he can ripped my panties, than what other graceful moves can he show me? 

Lust on Mr. Boring

Before I began, Every girl should know you should never play with fire when it comes to your EX. But as for me, it is exactly what I am doing. I have now involved my time in calls, text, and dates with a man who is from my past, through out my blogs known as "Mr.boring". He is known as Mr.boring because he lacks social butterfly skills like me, instead he can be cheap and a homebody. Why would I ever run to a man like that? He is SEXY as hell.
   MR.boring has a sharp but distinct jaw line masking masculine hot genes and light blue eyes with the most perfect narrow nose. His shoulders are wide and broad with arms that a perfectly bulked up naturally. He is a runner and always working on his performance in working out, unlike me.
   MR.boring disappear from me one day, we got into a fight (over text) and he immediately stopped talking to me. Through out the months, he began slowly drifting back into my life. While I was in the sheets with another man, he would haunt me with messages and text.
   Slowly and surely, he made a pacing way back into my lustful heart, making me forget any other man. We have not had sex yet, after all the man disappeared and he can sure damn wait. But how can I not? he is an amazing kisser.
    The summer air kiss, you know... like when touching lips gracefully lock on one another but at the same time leaves a tangle of gentle gliding. The summer air is hot but sweet taste of dense humidity arises on your face. If not experienced this kind of kiss, you need to jump on this kissing fan wagon.
    Leaving me to the question... can a MR.boring really bring happiness and if so, how long can this lust last along the sheets before he bores you away to sleep. Leave it to me to find the answers.

Drop off the Earth ( men)

Could I treat myself any lesser? I've recently was involved in a foolish playing around dating thing with another boy who had just got out of a 2 yr relationship. I was happy, and living the free from commitment.We agreed on comfort. We agreed I would text or call him, I wanted him to text or call me back. We agreed that we would have sex. Afterall, I needed a stress reliever with my busy no life schedule. With the No Life schedule, I turned to sex to one person and one person only. I was living the dating life without any strings attach, listening to Frank Sinatra Love songs, and getting excited over text. Then slowly, without warning it ended. Calls began to become slow and text began to decrease. The invites to hang out with him on weekdays or weekends ended, and I was let with the question of "what happened?" 

Why do men decide what is right for them without any word to girls? Its already bad enough women over analyze on every word a man said's through texting, so why not choose communication? Is it better to just stopped all at once without closure? For me, I rather know my faults, so I can learn from my mistakes. 

The key was on agreeing, not completely dropping off the face of the earth. Which is why when I called him and invited him out once more, two weeks later after this mess, he still picked up the phone and was nice. Nice? ignore my call. Ignore me. after all, that is what he does best.

But, now that I clearly see he doesn't care for me, am I in the right to date his friend? Attractive man who I have a lot in common with. I guess time will answer that one for me.

Along with the "men dropping off the face of the year" topic, I would like to add in Mr.boring mentioned from my other blogs, has been slowly reaching me through facebook messages. Its funny to see someone who completely defriend me on Facebook is trying hard to come back, flirty messages, trying to see how I've been. I wrote how he completely dropped off the face of the year and is funny to have a man trying to reach me again...

A man who stopped talking. texting. messaging me, after a one hour text message fight we had during my lunch break. 4 months later... he misses me. I think I might just have fun with this game if he lets me...again!

Stage life.

Yes, yes, yes...I've been slow at blogging.
I am actually trying to catch up on my blogging but it is hard with my 6 week classes, an internship at a advertising agency, and working from 7:30 to 6 three days a week puts out my dedication for writing or dating aside.
same ol' same: my friends are traveling Europe all summer, they have been to Spain, Italy, France, Prog, Berlin, Holland..and so on. While, I was here doing paper work. But should I really complain? yes, my friends are having the time of their life, seeing the world, being amazed by the architecture and culture, and I am here: doing essays, math problem, working, interning, and living off 4 hours of sleep with red bull.
I am getting to the point: while they are discovering a new world, I am discovering me.
I have met 3 lovely girls, who are fabulous in every way, with their own mindset of thinking and each one is beautiful and ready to party.
I, myself, have discovered to keep up my writing and the style that I choose to write, while holding the structure of being a busy body. I am young, and I work a lot, but thanks to my girls, I keep the mindset of still being young, wild, and free, while being ready for the work world when I graduate.
My internship has help me gain a lot of beneficial knowledge- so far? I have created websites, hired editors and digital designers all well as picking out what goes where in ads. I have been able to do what I love, what I admire, but still is learning; copywriting for ads. This is what I am doing this summer, I am able to edit, design, brainstorm, and discover what I am good at. I've met editors, designers, accountants, film crew, audio/ radio directors, and it doesn't stop there. I've been given an opportunity and I am not going to stop.
I have party with Jaguar football players, gone on boats, party in limos, beach parties, and I've been handling the Jacksonville City party as if it was New Jersey Shore. While my friends are traveling and trying to discover whats out there, I am opening my eyes for the first time and seeing whats in my city. my world. my area.
I have no summer love. I met a fling, a short guy well built guy who was attractive and good in bed. A guy with a 3 story house by the beach, performed at bars on his free time, and takes people out on his boat. But in the end, I am not searching for a guy as this moment. I am searching for an opportunity, an opportunity that will lead me to my next chapter...
They bought a ticket to Europe, I bought a ticket to discover that the world is all a stage and it will be me who will entertain all that seeks to know for as long as I live, I choose and will, live life, MY WAY. 

Grades on Friendship

   
   My friends decided we should all go camping, to relieve school stress, even though they party more than they study, most of them. But I took on the offer, and saved up as much as I could. I've been camping before, I knew what to expect, as in the terms of items. But I also over pack, I AM A GIRL. stereotype. The night before, I skipped class so I could babysit to make an extra $40 bucks. The $40 bucks goes towards the payment for sleeping on the campground. *yeah, we pay to sleep on dirt, pee and excessive things on their dirty little poison ivy bushes and gross bathrooms, along with spider bites. Then again, if you drink a lot, you don't care... which I totally did!
 But after my babysitting, I was pushed into a baseball game with military boys invite. Oh, I don't care for military, and yet I am attracted to them, plus they are adorable! I was off with me and my friend M, in which me and her chugged a beer and rushed on makeup in the dim parking lot. Our chatter mouths about boys came in and about, until I was stepping out of the car. I got a weird instinct, almost has me seeing me loose my wallet, and hearing the words "Don't Do it" . I obviously ignored and came about throughout the night with laughter, sitting around and having a good time. One drink in, I was good to go, and kept checking my wallet all night.
The game ended.
I started walking up, making inside jokes, I felt something hit me. Oh, it must be a person bumping me, it was crowded. Suddenly, it was gone. My wallet! was it stolen? did I loose it? when? why!? for my stupid actions, more money (than $40) was in!!! My debit, ID, School Card...gone.
Whats a girl to do when she can't find it ANYWHERE?!!?cry. ball. cancel the camping trip. I was so upset, humiliated, and disappointed at my ignorance. But, through my tears, I had only two of my friends help me out M and Sal. My girl M didn't have to spot me at all, but when I found $74 dollars in my hand because she went to the ATM at 3 am to spot me, it hit me hard as a friendship sign. I thank M so much and her reply "Don't worry about it, these things happen, you would have done the same". M trusted me, as a friend, because you truly don't know if you would do the same until it happens.
My girl Sal, spotted me with food, beer, supplies, and a great excuse to the world. Through all this mess, it showed who got my back. While I told my other girls, they just typed "sad faces" and hope u get better luck. Then wanted some credit when they spotted the gas up there. I love my friends, every bit, and no fingers pointed or contest who can be there the best. People help people different ways.
I have one friend who wants to party, her motto should be "Party and forget all the bad things". But there is only so much partying before we have to face all.
An accident occur a couple weeks ago with Sal, and I happen to be there at the right time and place. Help her out with a few truthful and honest words. Try to understand what her family was going through at the time, and understand that it affected her job. While the other friends were there, wanted party. They wanted to hear juicy gossip, a juicy classic dramatic story from Sal, and drink to it. I can't raise my glass to friends who don't stop for once and take ignition their not the only ones on earth. But how long can I keep this to myself?
I have to believe my friends care for me (who show odd ways of caring), it is their nature and not just me. But when dramatic things happen, isn't it a sign of who going to be there with you in friendship, thick and thin?
We always say "You would do the same", to bad we don't think the same, nor look the same, nor feel the same. But, when the "test" of friendship is passed, just realize, you would do the same only with the same good friends you always had. 

"Want?"

I have come to the conclusions that my girlfriends cannot possibly live without a man texting or calling. Their frustration has led me to think I must always try to flirt with some guy, so that I can "not feel lonely" as well.
But why must they feel the need to ALWAYS have someone? I have one girlfriend who has found the perfect boy, but feeds around other guys. She use to say once she found a great guy, she would change, but its still the same.
Is the need for wanting to have someone is more like a disease, or just human nature?
I have become perfectly content with waking up or going to sleep and not have a text from someone who I or he admires. My friends say, "I have lack game." but if I lack game, why do I feel like the winner? I feel like I am not using someone nor am I wasting my time. I am so focus onto school, that I do not want someone. Yet, I still put on the makeup and descent clothes everyday.
I wouldn't mind having someone right now, but to obsessively want is a desire I cannot see. Some of my girlfriends will talk to any guy giving them any attention.
The ex has been calling me, and the burning bridges is trying to burn it to pieces. My girlfriend had heard he was trying to get back with me and immediately turned him down. I know why she did, after all he wasn't the best guy for me, but I was still hurt. She has 6 to 7 guys she is talking to or dating, and the one man to show me attention she throws down. I simply replied " least he fights for me back, least he has a sense of want for me..." debbie downer reply it may be, but we all want some form of a person to care for us. This person, was the Sailor, a downright liar and a horrible boyfriend. Yet, I want to feel a sense of likeness.
The last guy that I dated, Mr.boring, was...Mr.boring. But by him still becoming Facebook friends, has actually tortured me. I do not creep on his page at all, after all, everything practically on private, and for a boring guy, that's strange. But I always see him online, and not once he has messaged me. I guess I should explained: When we "broke" up, it was over text, over a stupid pathetic fight, I apologized heavily, made a fool explaining that I liked him and that I did not want it to end. I also asked him, if he wanted me, if he liked me, he was to just say it, just say right then and there. I ended up getting what no girl wants: Silence.
Not a call. Not a text. Nothing. I realized we ended when I didn't hear from him the next morning.
I thought I would hear from him eventually. but, nothing.
I guess I see our friendship on Facebook, is a joke and a mock. Mr.boring stays on my page as one of my favorites, and yet, I haven't talked to him.
The week we stopped talking, I stopped looking for guy. yet, I have a sense of him to want me, even though I could care less about him. I guess because we left our wanting relationship into silence.
I have an internship at a advertising company along with double classes and a job this summer, I expect more books. Though stress and worrying about school has kept me busy, little thoughts of the men who are silent with me, spark me to curiosity.
 But I see a sense of challenging yourself, putting your goals forward will give you a sense of want, in return a person could give. Of course, its always easier said then done. But we must realize, your sense of want will match up to the person that wants you.

Come Back...to spoon.

Who goes out to a bar and meets a boy, who later brings them back just to snuggle? Me. I have managed to bring back someone from a  night club not to do anything but to spoon. Since when did my comfort zone stoop to getting drunk and having someone beside me?

            I have managed and have done well to going out weekends and never bringing home a guy nor really having a full conversation. I see bars as a way for me to get free drinks. Thanks to my girlfriends, I have become quite the con artist making sure every guy who talks to me will buy me a drink and then I detach myself from them to find the next sucker. Is it wrong? Yes. Very. And Karma is such a bitch.

            But I would like to point my perspective, as I am hard to please. Obviously, I am still single and enjoying the fine things in life, such as conning men on weekends.  But who saids they haven’t played me? It happens all the time. The game of love is tricky. There are no exceptions except for the ones you make up and there are no rules unless you choose. There are barriers and grid lines of what should come into place, but thanks to holy forsaken people and swingers, the guide lines are imaginary. Which is why I can’t ask, but to wonder when will I know when enough is enough with the immature tricks. When will I realize I play foolish games and what I am doing is spinning me into a wheel?

            I would like to point fingers at the exs as if they were the reason for all my actions. But I am to blame. I found the ones who could care less about me and wonder why the relationship is going nowhere. I am taking a wheel and just letting it spin around and around but not wanting to stop and think of my actions.

            I am having fun and loving every moment, no even coming to the thought of my actions. Which is why I managed this summer not to fall back with any boy I ever once dated and to move forward. Burn all the bridges. And look from the distance, of why they are my past. If I “need” some comfort from strangers, so be it.

            If I can managed to not give any exs a certain call or text, I can manage most things… for starters, I could buy my own drink. But then again, I can do that when I am old and married.

            Second, I can create some of the best nonfiction stories for the young twenty female world of summer, with the help of my single friends. After all, I probably would not have pleasure in my writing, if these things never happened to me. 

Incase you were wondering, The spooning led to a fancy $8 bloody marry with tasteful shrimp and grits. Which comes to show, not every guy is looking for just some tail, but comfort. just as well.

BIG BOY appears

 The simple threat of having to date another dull person in this world, has left. Thank Heavens! I try to hold on to a good guy, but when their no fun, no point but to move on. . .  

  I soon found myself last week, on a "catch up" date with one of my fellow guys I use to date back and forth. He was known has my "big boy", because at the time he was 6 foot 2 and weighed 260 pounds defensive line backer for some minor football team in my town. We hit off pretty good in the past. A country boy with some southern slang to his accent. I think what attracted me to him, was his time of being fragile and oblivious to me finding him attractive. In fact, the first time I met him, I liked him. (immediately). What also hit it off, was the christian morales he held, like passing out teddy bears to children in hospitals or becoming a chaperon for the church's youth group.

  I guess his christian view also carried heavily through his family, as well as his mother. I never met the mother, or any contact what so ever when I was dating her son. My Facebook appeared Private and I posted very few photos of me and big boy, nothing obscene. nothing wrong. . . so, I thought.

  I was wanting to meet his mother, I really wanted to get to know his family. For some reason, I thought they might find me a good catch for their son. But, I got a phone call from big boy simply saying "HAHAHA.. your not going to think its funny, but my mom saw your profile and cried" CRIED?!!? what? me? miss never posts wrong photos or watches what I say on Facebook...me??? oh, surely she had the wrong profile.

  I could not figure out how someone could cry over my profile, it was on private. I constantly checked to reassure myself that every album was on private. I begin to worry over a highly overbearing christian woman...who obviously thought I was entitled to the word "tramp".  

    He told me not to worry about it. But, that likes me telling him my father hates his guts, but not to "worry" about it. I eventually disappear from him, has he went on to different places for the training of his job. every once in a while I got a couple phone calls out of the blue, to catch up and talk about the good times. 

  I soon discovered him on St.Patrick's Day at a block party. through slow motion and through the drunk crowds of people, our eye locked and I had to turn away immediately. I turned back and could see his smile has he shouted the words "c'mon girl, come over here". (play it cool...play it cool) was all I could think as I noticed him loosing lots of pounds since I last saw him. He looked great! 

    I soon found my bold self asking to catch up. Is it wrong to enter a past? 

    We were just catching up, with lots of flirtation. I could tell during dinner we both discovered nothing would probably happen, since he and I developed two complete different schedules. He and I could never. Me and him had problems before, nothing huge, but enough to dissolve the relationship.

   But once more I find it odd, having him thrilled to see me again. Afterall, his mother fears me. The mystery will always lye about how I made her cry. and I think one more dinner would not be bad, one more time this one week.

Don't be bitter...?

I am embodied into another countless relationship…

                The thrills and sensations are rather dull and just an everyday guy, with the sensational attitude of my friends repeatly saying “He’s prefect for you”. Since when did a platter of a ham sandwich seem flattering over a philly?

                Girls always want more than they can have. We subtract and add to a list of what we want, not sure if it is what we want. But after two months of dating and once a week meet ups to him sitting in front of me at a restaurant watching me eat while he just sits and talks about how broke he is, is not my desire.

                I have asked this former sweetheart of mine to take me to his place, since I’ve been there once and his arguments of being broke are always mentioned. But the excuse of having and I quote “asshole roommate” is the over used excuse. Wanting me to particularly meet the friends is a slow and mature circumstance for all relationships; I just occasionally beat around of the bush and always introduce my guys no matter how long it lasts. But then the fear, the fear of everyone meeting the next guy, and the next guy to hear the comment “ should I remember this one’s name?”

                This fellow that I am seeing? For once! For once! Is a good guy. Never cheats. Only has had four serious girlfriends and doesn’t sleep around or find strippers appealing. The good deeds from him is a simple “good morning” text which I always receive every morning, and positive thinking im always on his mind.

                Constantly texting me and if he doesn’t text me in a couple hours, he always types the excuse why and tries to call me back. Communication? Is far from well.

                He hangs out with the boys, a lot. Which is good. Not clingly or obsessive and believes friends come before chicks. Amazing!

                But where is the spice? The romance? Our next date is to the library, to study. Because I had to think of someplace to take him that was free. I pay for meals and I pay for things as well. But after two months of going out, I need thrills! Something! The boy is too shy to hold my hand…

                I am going to give it a chance…this one is great. Really he is, but damn I might be too wild for him.

Company

            This past weekend, I let my guard down and slip my lips back into the place of my past.

Not understanding the barrier of what two ex.’s should do when put into place at a bar. But before I knew it, I had him back in my arms on the dance floor. Suddenly, every guy I was seeing became a blur, and I was content with it.

            I knew what I was doing, after all, you should never go back with an guy who dumped you (especially over the phone). My friends dislike him, for all the good reasons. But I couldn’t help but to repeat the words he kept saying to me “loosing you, was one of my biggest mistakes.” Biggest mistake? I’ll say. So why was the man I hated after the break up, was the man I wanted to take home?

            We ended up together  this entire weekend, including the hours spent hanging up pictures on my wall and organizing my room. Going out to eat. Being seen in public. Holding hands. Driving with the window down as era of the 50’s love music played in the background. He was questioning us so soon, on the second day, asking me “What our we doing?”. I see it as a relationship on comfort. I found my confused mother asking if I was dating the fellow again or just hooking up. In the most simple reply that could find  was “We keep each other company.”

            That just it. Company. Not dating. Not a booty call. Not lovers. Company.

            Its what I want, as of right now. I don’t want to date the nobody’s and the douche bags. I don’t want to take the time to get to know others. Follow by the rules of dating, and be crushed by the cheaters. I just want simple. After all, these past months I haven’t talked to anybody or really wanted to. I guess the secret truth was, he was always on my mind. I might be playing with fire, but sometimes you have to try out all the outcomes before you find the solution.

           

The TEST for Online dating

     The Quest to find love may be through the internet.
   I work a full time job along with going to school full time, in the little hours I have for myself is through social hangouts with my friends and laundry days. I have let my fashion stay in place, since my money is used for college student bills.
  I used to go on a online dating website just for fun. The boys are pratically desperate and love giving you never ending compliments. My self esteem certianly went up, when I had strangers send me emails on "how pretty I was", "Most girls arn't like you" and " wow, I wish I could meet someone like you". The type of flattering a girl wants to hear from the distance, but not date.
     The fear of dating online scares me. yet, what a wonderful concept to be able to come home after a long day looking like complete poop and in your pajamas, you check emails flattering you. Its a boost I think all girls need, every once in awhile. To feel pretty. To feel worthwhile.
   I remember I was talking to a gentlemen who wanted to date when he got back from deployment. so he simply went straight to a free online dating website and connected with me. sadly, I am trying to stay the HELL AWAY from military men. afterall, I've had one hell of an experience with the last eight guys. So, I ignored this one gentlemen, deleted my account and moved on to being completely single.
   Until one day when I discovered checking my old mail, I found an email from him. I completely forgot about giving him my private email address. Two Months later he addressed me, asking to take me out on a date. I haven't spoken to the man, and here he was, trying to reach me. Was I always this stubborn, or just with him?
    A few clicks away, we were exchanging facebook messages, phone and texting each other, but haven't set a date to meet. That was the problem, We were always never finding time to meet, but then again it was during the holidays.
   But now, I am still talking to this man,who I don't oddly call a stranger and I am putting it to the test. I am going on a date with someone I met online. Background check? good. Facebook check to make sure he is not creepy nor a player? All is well.
    Let this technology relationship be put to the real world.